Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Discovering God in the middle of our hardest choices
What if God’s answer to your struggle isn’t “Stop or Try Harder” but simply, “I’ll sit with you”?
I don’t know about you, but I keep doing things that don’t line up with what I say I believe. Most aren’t destructive in any outward way, but they quietly eat away at my confidence and ability to live out my destiny.
Transformation is one of those things that we all know we need but struggle to achieve on our own. My story has a lot of performance, work, and failure; maybe yours does too. The good news: change isn’t impossible; it just takes choosing presence over striving. Only one of these can transform our lives, and it doesn’t involve a daily affirmation stating, “I will do better.”
Let me tell you a story I heard about a young man named Samuel.
Samuel was not unlike many of his peers. Saturday nights were his favorite night of the week. He enjoyed hanging out with friends, drinking, and laughter. For him, it created the space to unwind and, for a moment, forget life’s pressures. Sunday mornings were different. Once the fun wore off, he was left with a sense of deep regret and disappointment in himself.
Samuel was Catholic, and the gap between what he believed and how he lived was hard to ignore. The cycle of Saturday night drinking and Sunday morning guilt continued, and along with it, a growing dissatisfaction with his life. The remedy- going to confession, receiving forgiveness, and the determination to change was always the plan, but when Saturday night rolled around, it was far too easy to repeat the pattern. Samuel really wanted to change. He just didn’t know how.
Then one Saturday afternoon, sitting in confession, he had an idea.
“Father,” he said, “I know what I’m going to do tonight. I’m planning to party with my friends and drink too much. I’m going to sin. Could you forgive me now for what I’m going to do so that I can take communion tomorrow during Mass?” It seemed like a simple solution to his problem. *If I know I’m going to fail, can’t we deal with it now instead of waiting?”
The priest paused and responded. “I can’t do that, but you do have another option. You could choose not to go.” It was simple, direct, and sounded so easy, except it wasn’t.
We often hope that God will see things our way. We expect Him to make special dispensations for our decisions. But authentic transformation doesn’t come in the trap of sin and compromise; it comes in the crucible of choice.
Samuel still contemplated the priest’s response as he got ready for his usual Saturday night plans. The evening played out in his mind like a familiar movie: the friends, the drinks, the laughter, the familiar sense of escape. Each scene was an intentional ploy to persuade him that going, was still the best choice.
But tonight was different. He couldn’t shake the emptiness and discontent. And somewhere in that tension, Samuel cried out to God. It wasn’t a religious prayer that he had found in a book or even a carefully worded liturgy he thought would be good enough to capture God’s attention. It was just an honest ask.
“God, I know You can do anything. You can do the impossible. Can You make me not go tonight?”
He was a bit startled when God answered. His response was simple, yet profound. In a calm, quiet voice, God said, “I can’t make you stay home. But if you choose not to go, I will sit with you.”
We have all lived through moments when we just want God to rescue us by removing our choice. It is a cry of desperation, “God, make me stop.” “God, take this desire away or *God, change my circumstances so I don’t have to deal with this anymore.”
And sometimes He does show up unexpectedly. But most of the time His answer goes more like, “I won’t choose for you. But I will be with you.”
So What Happened Next?
Samuel chose to stay home that night. He sat with God. And God sat with him. God wasn’t standing over him, demanding immediate change. He did not keep His distance until there was a promise of improvement. In fact, nothing really spectacular happened at all. There was no dramatic deliverance. No lightning from heaven. No loud booming voice shaking the room, just God sitting with Samuel, in the middle of his mess. And just like that, in this quiet place of God’s presence, the work of transformation began.
Saturday nights were never the same. Samuel didn’t really want to go drinking or to party with friends. In fact, he felt like he’d miss something if he went; staying home sitting with God was so much more satisfying. God wasn’t forcing him to change; he genuinely wanted to because he had found something so much better.
The next morning, he went to church. And, as the story goes, there were no more regrettable Saturday nights.
What Samuel had been looking for in the companionship and escape of the Saturday night party, he found in the quiet with God. What he thought would make him feel alive had become empty compared to the presence of the One who had been willing to simply sit with him.
Transformation Begins With a Choice
Maybe transformation isn’t as difficult as we believe. In the past, it may have sounded like a parent hurling demands to “Try harder or do better.” While the intention was good, the results were often dismal. Why? Because the truth is, transformation begins much more quietly, with a choice.
And when we make that choice, we find that God is already with us; in fact, He has always been there. He’s not waiting for us to work things out on our own. He is sitting with us right in the middle of our mess. He is never discouraged because He knows change is not an unattainable pursuit but a real outcome that happens when we sit together with Him.